In my shoes

Today I am angry, hurt and a whole host of other emotions I am having a hard time finding words for. On Wednesday this last week Ryan and I went to NYC, and we left a trusted and good friend in our place to take care of our kids. We know that given our circumstances this is no easy task but she took to it and was happy to be there for them while we were away. On Friday she was in the process of taking the kids home from school when Caden had an "episode." These are often scary and traumatic all on their own, not to mention unpredictable. But what our friend had to experience was unthinkable. While trying to defuse this situation in a reasonable manner she was subjected to very cruel treatment by perfect strangers. What makes people think that they have a right to comment on a situation and a child they no nothing about? What makes people think that they have a right to judge? Who are you? What is wrong with you? I guess when this happens to me, which it does more than I wish to admit, it is one thing. But for people to do this to my friend who was doing a very kind thing for us, it infuriates me. What happened to the kindness of strangers or just some good ol' compassion. When did we turn in to this monster as a society? 

To the lady who said: "Well, he doesn't look autistic," I didn't know that Autism had a "look." Last I checked Autism had many faces. To me it looks like the face of my child. And I suggest you walk a mile in my shoes before you cast your judgement on me or anyone who is caring for my child. 

My friend described it as the saddest experience she had ever had, as well as an eye opening one. I am so sorry that she had to see society in the way I see it all to often. Most times eye opening experiences are not pleasant, but I would have still rather her not to have to go through that. It wasn't fair. So I ask you, beg you, who are reading this to look at situations you may see differently. You may not see the whole picture, understand the context. But I ask for awareness and compassion. Because to those of us who are on the receiving end of the stares, comments, both bold and under the breath, the reality that we deal with is real. It is not in our heads or conjured up.