Swallowing my pride

This is my lame attempt at "getting stuff out there". I never, ever thought that I would blog. Thought I had nothing to say. I have so much. I just never thought that I would allow myself to open up my life this way. I am such a private and yet public person, it is such an enigma. 

Lately it has become my mission to tell my son's story, this blog is part of that mission. It is my "start". My jumping off point. It may become my refuge,  it may become my resentment. I do not know, all I know is I need to write about his life. 

Caden has Autism. As my friend Bev once said, "wow that's a 25 dollar word". It is still hard to see his name next to that title. Oddly enough Autism is something I have always feared that my children would have. I don't know why, just is something that I never thought I could handle. Somedays I don't know if I can. Somedays I think "Oh... this is what the end of my rope looks like... good to know." Somedays I wonder if God got me mixed up with someone else. Or if He thought "you don't think you can handle that? I'll show you what you are capable of." Most days are normal, whatever that means around here. Our normal is not most normals but that is okay. I am good with that. I can handle that. 

Tomorrow is Autism awareness day. I plan on writing about our family. Allowing people a glimpse of our lives. My hope is that this will help people become aware. Aware of one families struggle, learning, hope, joy, growth and no matter what we are in this together.