Thank you for not staring.

Sometimes I wish I could put a t-shirt on my child every time he leaves the house that reads: "No, I am not a freak, I just have autism. Please stop staring." Most days this is not a problem as long as Caden is happy and keeping his hands and legs to himself I just let him do his "thing". I let it roll off my back. But I have to admit there are days that I turn into my 13 year old self. That bad skin, horrible hair, mess of myself that I was back then and wonder just how many people are staring at me. Wondering what is wrong with me. Accept now they are staring at my child. Wondering what is wrong with him. Sometimes out right asking what is wrong with him. I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit that this bothers me, some days more than others. There are no obvious signs of autism. At first glance Caden looks like a normal child with a smile on his face that is hard not to ignore. More than one person on the bus has been drawn in by that smile to sit next to Caden, only to eagerly search out the next free seat as soon as one becomes available as soon as they realize that Caden is not your average child. Once that happened 3 times on a single bus ride. I tried not to take it personally, he is my child and I love him more than life itself and it gets to me sometimes, what should I expect of a stranger. That is hard for me to accept though, that most people will have only brief interactions with Caden and will only see the autism. Not the child who gives the best hugs in the world or the child who loves to draw and sing. I wish they could all see my child the way I see him. As a life that is important and valuable, who adds so much to our lives and those who know him, not just something to be stared at.