Thursday, June 4, 2009

Lost in translation

It was once described to us that Caden has a different first language than we do. English and the spoken word is his second language and pictures are his first. When the therapist said this to me it was like a light bulb went off in my head. It made so much sense. Caden has always related to pictures in a special way. At the age of four he has an amazing gift for using colours, Cade doesn't "do" colouring books. All he wants is clean, white pieces of paper. Pure, blank slates to create his masterpieces.

Sometimes it is like Caden is seeing something we can't see, and in many ways I think that is exactly what is happening. He paints his thoughts in his mind. He will often be using his hands in such a way that you think he is acting something out, like a play. Sometimes it will look like he is reaching out to touch something that is not there, something in his minds eye. Oh, how I wish I could see in his minds eye. I bet it would be a beautiful world, to see what he sees. Does he see anger or pain? Does he see happiness or contentment? Does he see love? What does my love for him look like in his mind? I hope and pray that he paints as magnificent a scene as it feels in my heart. 

More and more I am seeing autism as a gift. Seems odd... autism being a gift. Something for him and us as a family to learn about yes, but undeniably a gift. A friend reminded me this week that sometimes language can get in the way, that actions or thoughts can be far more powerful and important at times. That there is a purity to it. (Thanks, Colleen) :) She is right, I think that we often like to define ourselves by what we communicate through our words. What if we defined ourselves through our thoughts? Through what God sees? We can often get tripped up in our language. How often does a hug or a smile do far more for me than words ever could. Caden is teaching me to go back to the basics, back to the pure and simple. To see things from a new perspective, a fresh perspective. How could that not be a gift?